Praying for Our Parents

Praying for Our Parents

By Colleen Dean, Contributing Writer

Many Catholics are familiar with the story of St. Monica—how she prayed unceasingly for her son’s conversion and that after years of tears, fasting, and persistent prayer, her son, Augustine, returned to the Church and would go on to become one of the most renowned theologians in Christian history.

This is not that story.

Why is it that we can find countless resources for parents praying for children who have left the faith, but far fewer for children praying for their parents’ return? Although I’m blessed that my own parents are faithful, practicing Catholics, a recent conversation prompted me to reflect on the unique loneliness that often accompanies this sorrowful journey.

What do we do when the people who first taught us to pray, took us to Mass, and faithfully brought us to the sacraments are the very ones who have left the Church?

It is a brutal reality. Few burdens weigh more heavily on our hearts than wondering about the eternal fate of someone you love. Yet the Church constantly reminds us that no one is beyond God’s Infinite Mercy.

In the Divine Mercy Novena, Day Five is dedicated to praying for all those who have left the faith:

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon the souls of those who have separated themselves from Your Son’s Church, who have squandered Your blessings and misused Your graces by obstinately persisting in their errors.

“Squandered” is a fitting word. Whatever the reason someone has drifted away, be it trauma, broken relationships, or simply the gradual pull of indifference, the loss is immense.

Parents who once embraced the faith now find themselves not only distant from the Church community they once loved, but from their children as well. They have deliberately chosen to reject God and His teachings. While only God knows each person’s heart and the degree of culpability for their actions, it is natural for us to grieve that choice.

Recognizing that our parents are just as human and just as fragile as we are can be deeply unsettling. The people who once formed our faith are not immune to mistakes or doubt. That realization can jar us, but it can also serve as a path to draw deeper in our trust in the Lord.

So, what can we do? How can we, as both children of God and children of our earthly parents, lovingly pray for their return to the Church?

1. Stay Close.

When faith becomes a point of tension, it can be tempting to withdraw or to blame. Instead, fight to remain present. Be comfortable with the uncomfortable and sit within the messiness and the tension of their life.

The greatest witness of faith we as children can offer is authentic Christian charity. That doesn’t mean every visit has to become a philosophical debate or an invitation to Mass. Sometimes it just means sharing a cup of coffee or going shopping together. Make sure it’s time you’ve both set aside intentionally, with no distractions. Allow yourselves to be fully present to one another and share in your highs and lows together. And if you don’t live close enough to visit in person, schedule a monthly call or start writing letters.

As your relationship grows, opportunities will arise organically for you to share what God is doing in your life. An authentically joyful witness speaks volumes far subtler than any theological argument can.

2. Talk to a Priest.

Ask your priest for guidance. He may recommend particular devotions or know of saints who can intercede for your parents. You can even ask him to offer a mass for your parents, or else put their names on the parish list of intentions.

As St. Monica said, “Nothing is far from God.” We were never meant to carry this burden alone. Alongside the prayers of the Church, the saints faithfully intercede for us, reminding us that every prayer offered in hope is heard by God. The Church is there to support us in grief and uncertainty, and a trusted priest can be a valuable source of pastoral wisdom as we navigate this journey.

3. Don’t Lose Hope.

“Hope is not merely a wish that something good might happen—it is the firm confidence and desire that the promises of God will be fulfilled.”
—Matthew Kelly, Beautiful Hope: Finding Hope Every Day in a Broken World.

This may be the hardest step of all.

Waiting for change that never seems to come can be painful. As months become years and years become decades, it may feel like nothing will ever be different. Even so, we are still called to honor our father and mother.

Obeying this commandment means loving our parents patiently even when faith has become a point of division. It means continuing to show up, praying daily, and remaining faithful in our own journey with the Lord. Conversion is His work; faithfulness is ours.

We may never fully comprehend how God is actively working in the lives of our loved ones. Yet we continue to pray because our hope in Him is underlined in every encounter we share.

May our prayers be as faithful and persevering as St. Monica’s. May we never grow weary of entrusting our parents to the Lord, confident that He will draw all souls to Himself, especially those most in need of His Mercy.

---

Colleen Dean is passionate about evangelizing secular culture through the written word. She holds a bachelor’s degree in Political Science and a master’s degree in Catholic Studies from Franciscan University of Steubenville. Her work has been published in The Washington Examiner, The College Fix, and Lone Conservative.

Colleen lives in Ohio with her husband and son. In her free time, she enjoys exploring nature and spending time with her family.