Light Your Lamp: How to Be a Good Bridesmaid for the Lord

Light Your Lamp: How to Be a Good Bridesmaid for the Lord

by Rietta Parker, Contributing Writer

Back in 2022, I was living with my husband in an apartment complex five minutes away from a perpetual adoration chapel. One afternoon there, I started meditating on that day’s gospel acclamation:

This is the wise bridesmaid, whom the Lord found waiting; at His coming, she went in with Him to the wedding feast.

A few months later, I asked myself: “How can I be a good bridesmaid for the Lord?”

I considered the analogy between being a member of the Body of Christ and being a bridesmaid in a wedding while meditating on the Parable of the Ten Virgins and how the Lord implores us in that gospel to be ready for His second coming. After having been a bridesmaid five times, and preparing for the sixth time this September, I am finally answering the question: 

“How can I be a good bridesmaid for the Lord?”

I’ve organized bridesmaid duties into three main categories: helping the bride prepare for the wedding, preparing yourself for the wedding, and being a witness to the wedding.

Bridesmaid Duty: Help the Bride Prepare for the Wedding

As a bridesmaid, you don’t just show up on the day of the wedding. You are often involved in wedding preparation: invitation writing, flower arranging, makeup and hair trials, venue searching, cake testing, and more. You at least offer moral support for some of these tasks if nothing else. If the bride knows you have a knack for decorating cookies or singing, you might end up doubling as a bridesmaid-wedding-singer or bridesmaid-cookie-decorating-extraordinaire. The possibilities are endless. Regardless, you are one of the bride’s right-hand women, and you are there to offer your time, talent, support, and prayers throughout the entire engagement timeline. 

Right now, we are in the Church’s engagement timeline. The Lord left us with His Bride to prepare her for His coming as the Bridegroom. As members of the Body of Christ, we are called to offer these same “bridesmaid” services to the Church. Consider this calling when contemplating Paul’s letter to the Corinthians on how the church is made up of one Body in Christ, though many parts (1 Corinthians 12.) What part(s) are you? Do you love to sing? Consider joining your church’s choir. Do you love helping others? Participate in outreach programs. Are you great with kids? Volunteer for youth groups and VBS. Do you love to cook? Sign up to cook for church events. Are you a leader? Consider leading a bible study or specific small group for your church. Do you constantly find yourself journaling reflections or prayers? Consider what God would have you do with those reflections. What do you love to do and how can you best glorify God with that gift? If Jesus assigned you a role in Heaven, what would your role(s) be? Are you already carrying out that role on earth? If not, how can you expect to do it at the wedding feast of the Lamb?

If your answer is “no” to all of the above interest questions, you may consider yourself one of those bridesmaids that falls into the “mainly here for moral support” category. The Lord and the Church may not need moral support, but the Lord does ask to be praised and gives us very deliberate, explicit, and detailed guidelines for how to praise Him within Scripture and Tradition. Go not only to Mass every Sunday, but look up your church’s daily Mass schedule, and see if you can pop in from week to week. Attend First Friday Benediction or other perpetual adoration opportunities. Maintain and strengthen your relationship with the Church and Christ.    

Bridesmaid Duty: Prepare Yourself for the Wedding Day

Once you have accepted your role as a bridesmaid for this wedding, you start preparing yourself for the big day. You order your dress, get it altered, buy the right colored shoes, and decide on your hair and makeup. You might plan to get your nails done with the other bridesmaids and bride. You also prepare your outfits and sometimes ask off of work, book flights and Airbnbs to attend the wedding as well as the other events surrounding it. The bride doesn’t necessarily check in with you to make sure you are preparing alongside her. She just trusts that you are preparing yourself because it is understood that your “yes” to her encompasses all of these responsibilities. 

Every time we receive Communion, we renew our “yes” to the Church and to the Lord. Our “Amen” at the communion rail says “You are” as much as it says “I am.” 

I am a member of the body of Christ. I am preparing for the Lord, the groom’s coming. I did bring extra oil. I am the wise and faithful bridesmaid waiting outside the door. 

For the wedding feast of the Lamb, our preparations look different and focus not on our exterior appearance so much as on the interior: our souls and hearts. We are called to self-reflect and pray, to confess regularly in order to be cleansed of our sins and receive the necessary graces in remaining united with Christ, and to carry ourselves steeped in obedience and reverence for the Lord. This bridesmaid duty is extra tricky–we don’t know the date of the wedding. We can’t tell ourselves, “Oh, I still have a few months to get my dress altered.” We don’t know when He is coming. We have to look in the mirror every day and ask ourselves: am I ready today? 

Bridesmaid Duty: Be a Witness to the Wedding 

After you’ve helped the bride prepare for the wedding and prepared yourself, it’s time to attend the wedding and be a witness to the love between this couple that you hold so dearly. What makes a bridesmaid a good witness to the bride and groom on their wedding day? A good bridesmaid is on time, ready, prepared, joyful, selfless, loving, supportive, excited, and dutiful. As a wedding guest, you witness the love and life of the couple not just through them but through their wedding party. 

So, as we wait for the groom to arrive and for the wedding feast of the Lamb to begin, we must be a witness in allowing beauty, truth, and goodness to radiate from our lives and our hearts. It is not enough to pour into our church communities, families, and friends. We must go out into the world and spread the good news. Modern evangelization manifests in so many ways, and we have to remember that most of the time we are planting seeds throughout our lives whose growth and ultimate fruit we may never witness. Pray fervently. Have meaningful, faithful conversations with the people God has put in your life who may not agree with your faith or even know the Lord. Be open and approachable about your faith. If someone were to look you up on social media, would it be obvious that you are a witness to Christ when looking at your profiles? Make sure that it is obvious to everyone who encounters you, physically or digitally, that you are a member of the Body of Christ. 

Be the Wise Bridesmaid

In the Parable of the Ten Virgins, the Lord goes into the wedding feast with the five wise ones. When the other five virgins ask the Lord to let them in, He says, “Amen, I say to you, I do not know you.” (Matthew 25:12) His use of “Amen” here is chilling when reflected on as a direct response to the countless “Amens” given at Mass. It begs the question, “Is your ‘Amen’ true at the altar? Are you a member of the Body of Christ who is prepared for the wedding feast of the Lamb?” 

“The Body of Christ.” “Amen.” It is. I am. 

Each of us is a unique, irreplaceable member of the Body of Christ. The Lord has called you to prepare for His wedding in a special way. What will your bridesmaid duties be? How can you be a true, beautiful, and good bridesmaid for the Lord? 

The Wedding Feast of the Lamb Bridesmaid Duty Checklist: 

Prepare the Church:

• Offer your talents to your parish 
• Offer your time to your parish
• Go to Mass and Adoration frequently 

Prepare Yourself:

• Go to Confession regularly 
• Pray multiple times a day
• Remain obedient toward the church’s teachings 

Be a Witness:

• Converse with people of other backgrounds/faiths 
• Be obvious, open, and approachable in your faith
• Pray fervently with and for others, especially those who are lost

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Rietta Parker holds a BS in secondary English education and an MA in English-Creative Writing from Auburn University. She writes fiction, poetry, reflections, and prayers. Her work has been published in Bridge: Bluffton University’s Literary Journal, Quiet Lightning, and Poet’s Choice. In 2020, her reflection on being at home in the Church was featured in The Catholic Woman’s “Portrait of a Catholic Woman” social media campaign. She’s a member of the Catholic Writers Guild where she serves as an anthology and blog editor. When she isn’t teaching or writing, she loves to sing, dance, and act.